Sarkozy’s foot to be permanently inserted in his mouth

French President Nicolas Sarkozy is due to undergo a minor surgery this Saturday to permanently insert his foot in his mouth. Following his unsavoury and embarrassing remarks about Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, Sarkozy has decided that the procedure will save him much time and effort.

“People are quite superficial and their expectations are often based on appearances. I want people to judge me correctly at first glance,” said the small Frenchman.

“If a taller man spoke like he does, the procedure would have been much more complicated. Fortunately, Mr. Sarkozy is short enough for the procedure to be completed in a matter of minutes. In fact, we expect that he will manage to perform the surgery himself,” said his doctor.