I’m quite a fan
of an online cartoonist
who has devoted much of his time to researching minor behaviour and speech
modifications that can make you appear “100% classy.”While he usually deals
with more serious issues like the possibility of adding, “You may quote me,” at
the end of each sentence or naming your dog ‘Sir’, I decided to turn
my attention towards the more mundane matter of appearing classy on paper so
that I could help people ooze class on their webpage or blog. I have the first
step all figured out. It’s quite elementary, really. In order to appear classy,
I must do exactly what Wikipedia does to be mistaken for a real source of
information: obsessively reference everything I write and add footnotes
wherever possible.[1]
The second step, obviously, is to use hyperlinks. Now this step calls for some prudence. If you
hyperlink everything, your page ends up looking rather shady. Hyperlinks must
be evenly distributed, thoughtful and used judiciously. One hyperlink for every
150-200 words is ideal.
The third step
is to replace a few words with more complex synonyms. This will require a
little bit of effort to ensure the context is correct. Another excellent idea
is the use of third person. “One” is just so much classier than you or I.
The last step of
course is style. If one doesn’t have that, there’s not much one can do.
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