I have decided
to get a job by accumulating good karma. I’m helping a very dear friend with
her university applications. I’m looking for a word that would convey the exact
opposite of nostalgia but I haven’t been able to find it. Usually when people
look back at things they smile and say, “Oh some things never change.” Now
picture me saying the same thing but throwing my hands up and shaking my head
wistfully as I speak. That’s exactly what I do when I look at the questions in
such applications.
Everybody’s
favourite question is, “Describe your strengths and weaknesses.” This is a rather dumb question to ask, because self-evaluation will almost always seek to
mislead. It’s not that the candidate can’t help
disclosing some useful information.
No, not at all. When you include this question in your application, you reduce
all your candidates to a single strength and a single weakness: they are all
liars. They bend or stretch the truth. Some may take the liberty of extinguishing
the truth altogether. Poor truth, everyone discriminates against it.
Not that my
friend is a liar. I may be one, but she’s an absolute gem of a person. I couldn’t
think of any weakness that would seem acceptable, so I googled weaknesses. It
wasn’t very useful. But for the first time ever, astrology came to my rescue. I
looked up weaknesses for different zodiac signs and astrologers are just so
good at cushioning the blow, you don’t need to do anything more! I’m convinced
that all these “What’s your personality type” and “Do you know your ruling planet”
tests were devised expressly to help with application forms. I tip my hat to
you, astrology.
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