Friday, January 27, 2012

Maternal Instincts and Entrepreneurship


Entrepreneurs are people who want to have children who will do as they tell them to. Of course, this only happens with some probability, but it would be reasonable to assume that the probability is higher than that of your biological children doing what you expect them to.

Usually, less than 5 years after getting a job, the would-be entrepreneur’s biological clock begins ticking and they can’t see the point of meaningless associations with different employers. They crave something more. So they decide to have their own baby company. Often they look for partners, and unlike marriage, they are allowed to have as many partners as they please without society frowning upon their depravity.

And then it happens. Their company is incorporated. It’s a magical moment. Like most people with children they struggle with their finances. Unlike most people with children they can sell a part of their baby company to a venture capitalist who will give them the money to raise it properly. Often, companies that are not properly nourished at this point with all the love and attention they deserve grow up to be damaged sociopaths who go bankrupt and wreck many careers.

Venture capitalists are often people who have raised their own baby companies and understand the effort that goes into it, which is why they are so willing to share their wealth and experience, much like grandmothers teach the parents how to treat a baby with colic.

And finally, when the child comes of age, he is sold off in an IPO, much like an arranged marriage. Let’s call the subscription process the hunt for a suitable match (a company can have as many owners as it likes without getting into any legal or moral predicaments). Let’s call the IPO proceeds dowry. Some IPOs aren’t successful; others, wildly so. It’s all a game of chance. And the game nearly takes a lifetime to play. I see a bright future for entrepreneurship in India. 

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