If we are what
we eat, I’d probably be a potato (or a chicken?). I really feel for the potato.
It’s one of my favourite vegetables and it is severely discriminated against. There
is nothing villainous about it. In fact, if there was a king of vegetables (and
clearly mango is the king of fruits), it would undoubtedly be the potato. Your
brain loves potatoes. No, seriously. The human brain requires starch to
function and what better source than the humble, delicious potato? And yet, we
are so ungrateful to it: couch potato, potato head, dumb as a sack of potatoes - what’s so smart about a sack of onions?
I’ve always
thought onions are evil and deceptive. They are so brash and overpowering that they
make you cry. Broccoli is obviously the smartest vegetable. It’s green, it
helps your body absorb calcium, it’s great for your health and it looks like a
brilliant professor with crazy hair. And nobody likes it: it's an exceptionally smart anomaly in a family of otherwise stupid vegetables.
If you want a
dumb vegetable, think cauliflower. It looks like such an air-head. It has an
even dumber cousin, cabbage, which has more layers of ignorance than anybody else
in the vegetable world. Turnip heads are foolish and incompetent. Carrots are ferocious. Brinjals are seedy
and not to be trusted. Okra looks a bit like Cruella’s fingers – definitely wicked.
So many perfectly acceptable insults and people whale on the potato instead. It's a wild world.
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